I’m really getting into this whole idea that your thoughts make your own reality.
No. Seriously. People who know me personally know that I have been thinking my own Seattle reality into a tropical paradise since 2001. In all that time I haven’t thought up the name of my paradise. I am realizing now that I should be thinking a new name into being. East Maui has a nice sound to it.
Quantum mechanics proves that if you look at things right with your conscious mind you can make them vibrate differently. It’s all about electrons. It’s obvious when you know the math. So I’m looking at all the things going on in Seattle and in the country and I’m making them awesome. I’m looking at Trump and I’m seeing balloon animals and origami with pretty colored paper. America really will be great again, as soon as the balloon animal thing takes.
The tropical paradise thing has been working very well for me and seems to be spilling over into other people’s reality too. This is a well-known effect known as interpersonal resonance. I think tropical paradise, your thoughts resonate to my thoughts, and all our thoughts get magnified like a laser.
OK, some of you might want to call it global warming. But I want to call it East Maui, new tropical paradise. The important thing is, whatever you call it, you’re getting it, because we’re thinking it into being with our consciousnesses.
We’re going to fix homelessness in this city the same way. We’re not going to throw any more money at it, because we’ve proved that doesn’t work by not actually trying to fund adequate supplies of suitably affordable new housing. What you don’t do doesn’t happen. What is going to work is what we will do, for sure, which will be to direct our consciousness at the problem.
Pretty soon our consciousnesses will entangle and resonate and homelessness will disappear and be replaced by surfing off of black sand beaches. That’s right, we’re all going to start thinking up some killer waves. The waterfront is going to be fantastic.
Speaking of fixing problems, the House Republicans in Washington, D.C., have been trying to get a bill passed that is designed to get people who collect snap benefits (what used to be food stamps) working by just telling them they have to get jobs or the food stamps will be taken away. This will supposedly save money by giving out fewer snap benefits.
The problem is that in order to track people to make sure they are working, the bureaucracy enforcing the tightened rules will have to be several times as big as the bureaucracy that currently manages the program. So the money that would be saved will probably be spent several times over managing the enforcement of the new rules.
All of which is especially ironic, since most people who currently receive snap benefits are working or trying to get work, because the benefits they get aren’t enough to live on anyway.
Clearly the House Republicans understand the principle that if they apply their consciousness to raise awareness of the savings of funds for benefits, the savings will blossom like a billion tulips in the land and the money thrown at the bureaucracy will wither and die from sheer lack of attention. What boondoggle? We don’t see any boondoggle.
I was delighted to see a story in the paper this morning about a Chinese couple that, having thought they had purchased a Tibetan mastiff dog while on a trip, then figured out after two years of raising him that he was actually an Asiatic black bear. The head of the household said he was in fact “a little scared of bears.”
You can see what their problem really is. Their problem isn’t that the Tibetan mastiff they bought is “really” an Asiatic black bear. Their problem is that they let go of their perfectly good idea that the creature was a Tibetan mastiff.
Come on. He was a Tibetan mastiff for two years. All they had to do was just keep that consciousness going and he would continue to be a Tibetan mastiff for as long as he lives.
If all the bears in the world are dogs, because we all work at thinking they are, then it doesn’t matter if anyone is afraid of bears, because they’ll never see one.
That’s how you get things done. With the power of thought, in harmonic resonance.
Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd.
Wait, there's more. Check out the full May 23 - 29 issue.
Real Change is a non-profit organization advocating for economic, social and racial justice. Since 1994 our award-winning weekly newspaper has provided an immediate employment opportunity for people who are homeless and low income. Learn more about Real Change.