I want to talk about a fan of Real Change who I just found out died almost two years ago. But first I want to talk about child abuse. So I guess this won’t be a very funny column.
People often speculate that my writing has been informed by pot, LSD or ‘shroom usage in my college days. Not so. I only inhaled a dozen times. I stayed away from the tricksy stuff.
The real formative experience was child abuse that alternated between violence and neglect. The neglect included an extended period with no contact with anyone at all except my parents. I had suffered injuries at my parents’ hands.
Until I recovered I had to be kept out of sight. I was evidence.
It was a problem, being so isolated. But I did discover one silver lining: I learned how to cope with isolation. I became a master of entertaining myself when alone.
Child abuse is one of the main contributors to homelessness. One reason is the post traumatic stress disorder that can result.
Another is the way it leads to estrangement from family.
Child abuse is one of the main contributors to homelessness. One reason is the post traumatic stress disorder that can result.
The first time I was homeless I was at graduate school and lost my housing due to a real estate speculation involving my apartment building. I had already cut ties with my abusive parents.
It was actually better to be homeless for a year than to go back to them. They were poisonous.
Later, the PTSD became real to me. As symptoms ramped up, I found myself homeless again. Just before I did, I was referred to a woman who helped people with child abuse issues. Her name was Jeanette. I thought I’d see her once or twice. I saw her off and on for 29 years.
Until she knew what my circumstances were, visits were the customary price, at that time $80 for a 50-minute hour. Then she found out that although I was working as a cab driver, I was poor and homeless so the price tumbled to $10 per visit.
Then she figured out that I was on the verge of a total breakdown, and she insisted I see her twice a week and the price became token.
That was by far the worst bout of homelessness I ever went through. Racing thoughts and visions tumbled in my head so I could barely focus on the crucial business of surviving. PTSD, exhaustion and malnutrition combined, and I even lost track of what year it was (I now know it was 1984.) I only could remember when my next appointment was.
Jeanette anchored me. She helped me get back to that silver lining.
Jeanette anchored me. She helped me get back to that silver lining I mentioned above. I had never repressed the ugly memories, but I had mislaid some of the good ones. She drew them out where I could see them to celebrate them.
I told her I made most of my money driving cab in tips, gained from cheering up my customers with stories I told, and she pointed out, “There, being able to entertain yourself doesn’t have to be just for yourself. You can share.”
Well, within limits.
I probably shouldn’t share my repertoire of strange mouth noises with strangers on buses.
Or my game of pronouncing Washington state town names as if they were bird calls, or as if they were French (try that with “Renton.”)
By the end of 1991 I was out from under the worst symptoms. Enough that I would take as my motto, a couple of years later, “One personality to serve you, since 1991.” It was really a veiled tribute to Jeanette, who as long as I saw her while she was alive, those 29 years, didn’t want me to mention her publicly.
When I got involved in Real Change Jeanette immediately became a fan of the paper.
For the last seven years that I saw her, she had me come see her once a month for free, just to check in with her — except I had to bring her all the papers that came out that month.
Now, knowing she’s gone, I can tell everybody what a wonderful person she was and what a huge difference she made in the life of one guy who fell into homelessness. There needs to be many more like her.
Jeanette Dyal Schimmelbusch, 1941-2015. RIP.
Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor and three times homeless. He has been involved with Real Change since he supplied the art for the first cover in November of 1994. This is his regular humor column, Adventures in Irony.
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