What, me worry?
Everything’s just fine. Seattle is going to divest
$3 billion from Wells Fargo just in time to have nothing to do with the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline. Now our hands are finally clean.
Speaking of oil pipelines, there’s some Russian oil pipelines I’ve heard about that are going to get more use now that Donald Trump is president. He is going to fix that right up, so that Russian President Vladimir Putin can be the world’s richest man.
Don’t you wonder what Trump’s share of the deal will be? Don’t expect to find out, because Trump doesn’t share his tax returns.
But that’s OK. Everything is just fine. I’m fine with it. It’s not money out of my pocket. You must be fine with it. We’re all fine with it.
I’m not Ukrainian, not even a little bit. I don’t even know where Ukrainians come from or what they’re up to. If my government says it’s fine to invade Ukrainians, then I would say maybe they should have asked themselves where they took a wrong turn. I bet it was Poland. They should have stayed in bed in Poland.
I’m really down with the fact that the annual count of homeless people in King County was completed last week, all the numbers are in, and the organization collecting the numbers won’t reveal them until the band is in place, the fanfare is written and everyone in charge has their self-congratulatory speech ready.
This will happen in how many months? It’s just a list of numbers. Read them to me, I’ll use my abacus and have them added right after the last number is read out.
No, pay no attention to my inappropriate bitter ramblings, as I bite my tongue. It’s really great that I’m getting this lesson in delayed gratification.
Gosh I need more of these. I’ve spent so much of my life just being pushy, demanding this and that, always wanting action and answers, answers and actions. End poverty, end war, end genocide, more freedom, more justice. I’ve been such an impatient whiny brat. I need to learn to take it easy and wait for my two marshmallows.
I should be more like my new king. My king has so much to think about. He is inundated with hard work to do.
Things like figuring out how he can deport most immigrants, except for the domestic help and the strawberry pickers, they’re OK.
How he can save Christians from the persecution of not being able to persecute people as they think the Good Book instructs.
How can he end all banking regulations without a legal leg to stand on, on account of the fact that he’s not Congress? That takes hard thinking; it’s a good thing he’s the world’s smartest man.
And yet, in spite of all that on his plate, our king can hold off releasing volley after volley of brilliant executive orders to take time to smell the roses as it were.
He can issue a decree that everyone at the White House now has to dress well, and the women have to look like women, and the men have to wear suits that fit and proper ties that are tied right. Everyone except Steve Bannon, of course, he’s not asking for the impossible.
He can use an annual National Prayer Breakfast to sarcastically ask those assembled to pray that Arnold Schwarzenegger be a better host of “Celebrity Apprentice” and bring its ratings up.
Because there’s never a bad time to stop and use public prayer to disrespect someone you resent and set a pious example for all.
He even took the time out from his busy schedule to learn some Black History before speaking on the subject. He learned that there is someone named Frederick Douglass those people respect, so he should drop his name into a speech.
Our king knows how to live. He’s leading by example. We all need to stop and enjoy the finer things in life.
We can do this and still solve our problems in a millennium or two. What’s that you say, the cockroaches will be ruling the world by then?
Oh be serious, that will never happen. Cockroaches are edible.