It's become one of those times when we should shuffle the names of our political parties again, like we did when we stopped calling people Whigs. With Obama justifying every policy reform by pointing to liberal Christian values, and the Republicans on the verge of being completely taken over by the Christian equivalent of the Taliban, we have, now, the Christian Democrats versus the Christian Theocrats.
The economy must be doing fantastic because nobody talks about it anymore. They just want to tell me they're the real Christians, who will take this Christian nation in the Christian direction Christ would want it taken.
I'm really impressed by Rick Santorum's latest come-from-behind sweep of Minnesota, Missouri, and Colorado. Based on that and on the cool way he manages to pull off a blend of Stan Laurel innocence and silliness with Jerry Seinfeld disdain, while all the time spouting a Christian version of Sharia that's absolutely adorable, I hereby endorse him to be the 2012 Christian Theocratic nominee for Christian Ayatollah of the United States.
Running against Obama, Santorum's slogan could be "We can't do any worse!" and Obama could just recall his last election's slogan with "Oh, yes we can!"
I could pick a dozen quotes to show why I think Santorum would be the worst president in the history of the United States, but my fave is, "The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical." Haven't had enough stupid wars over oil? Let's have some stupid wars over religion!
Wait, there's another: "All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis, they're not Palestinians. There is no 'Palestinian.' This is Israeli land."
That is the most unbelievably stupid utterance I have ever seen on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Oh, I know what he's saying, "My God says it's the Israelis' land." That's his opinion. But you don't disparage a whole population by saying they don't exist, even if you don't think they matter or have human rights. That's shameful.
Well, now that I've had my say about that ugliness, let's move on to that other focus of Christian Shariasts, Obama's new birth control mandates.
There's been a lot said in the media about this and I don't want to repeat all the legal arguments. The Catholic Church and a bakery run by a family of devout Sikhs should have to comply with the same health insurance regulations.
We all got up in arms over the Citizens United decision and the notion that, since corporate freedom extends to the First Amendment and since money controls almost all media in this country, now corporations effectively have more rights than people.
The same people who brought you that idea have managed to parlay the notion that churches, not people, have religious freedom.
Obama's mandate directly supports the religious rights of the employees in question. The employees are the people in this picture. Their rights are real. The church has rights only in so far as it consists of people. If you can't get this, lace your fingers together and repeat after me: "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open it up and see all the people."
The Catholic people of the church may not impose their religion on non-Catholic employees hired to do their business.
If the church doesn't want Catholic employees to have birth control, they're free as ever to excommunicate them.