The rush is on at Mr. J's Deli Mart in Ballard, where I picked up a can of cranberry-lemonade flavored Four Loko Friday night.
A lot of people have been buying Four Loko there lately, the clerk said, as he hastily shoved my 32-ounce can into a black plastic bag.
"Because of the ban," he explained.
By the time you read this, Four Loko, Joose, Axis and Max will have disappeared from the cooler case at Mr. J's and every other store in the state. The ban on caffeinated alcoholic drinks goes into effect Thursday.
The Washington State Liquor Control Board rushed to put in place a temporary ban following a now-infamous October party in which nine Central Washington students were hospitalized after drinking Four Loko. The temporary ban will be followed by a permanent one. Michigan, Utah and Oklahoma have already banned the drinks, and a New York state ban is in the works. There may even be a federal ban.
Naturally, Four Loko is now the cocktail du jour. Spokane stores reported a wave of demand for "blackout in a can," with some stores having already sold off their stock, according to the AP. I asked my brother, who is 24 and lives in Kent, whether he'd ever tried Four Loko. A disgusted look crossed his face.
"Every time I've had it I've regretted it the next morning," he said.
But he found it hard to believe the Central Washington students could've gotten poisoned off the stuff.
Believe it. The FDA is looking into the effects of combined alcohol and caffeine, but research suggests the caffeine delays the effect of alcohol so people can stay up longer and drink more. Among the evidence cited by Washington's liquor control board is a University of Florida survey of college-age bar patrons. Those who combined alcohol and caffeine "were more intoxicated than those who only had alcohol and were four times more likely to say they wanted to drive home," researchers found.
Hate to be a buzzkill, but there are plenty of other canned blackouts for sale. Let's back up 12 steps.
Mickey's, Olde English, and Colt 45 are some malt liquor options. Night Train, Thunderbird, Mad Dog 20/20 and Wild Irish Rose are fortified wines that get the job done.
Long before anyone cracked open a Loko, these brands were the subject of ridicule. They've even got an online homage: http://bumwine.com.
Finally, someone said it. Class, not caffeine, is what sets Four Loko and its ilk apart from the dozens of bargain-bin ways to get lit.
Among poor people and addicts, cheap, fast inebriation is nothing new. The liquor control board is well aware of the toll fortified wine and malt liquor sales can take on the people nearby.
In 1999, the agency initiated Alcohol Impact Areas in order to help communities "mitigate problems with chronic public inebriation and illegal activities linked to the sale and consumption of alcohol."
In other words, AIA's were designed to cut down on the number of loud, annoying drunks on the street.
Seattle's alcohol impact areas include the central core of the city and the University District and, within them, the sale of cheap, potent, sugary wines and beers are banned.
Supporters of AIAs note the banned beverages do more than get people high. The sugar blunts the pain of hunger. It's what the destitute drink to quiet a rumbling tummy, or maybe, the voices in their head.
For college kids looking to go Loko, the party's over. But there's always another Night Train on the way.